Tales of a Broken Crash Test Dummy..............................................

Can't reach your phone. Water just broke. Going to hospital. Brian is here. Hope you can get home soon but I understand if you can't.

So yeah. I've spent most of the day watching shows about people having babies. Why am I doing this to myself? All it means is that I have to keep getting Viv or the nurse to wipe my eyes and blow my nose. I'd much rather go see The Avengers, but yeah. That's not happening. I'm working on getting a screener from a friend, though. When that gets here, aw yeah, movie night!

I got an email from a friend of mine who's doing a documentary on stunt work and people who've been injured on the job. I... really don't know how I feel about that. I mean, I'd hope it wouldn't be too exploitative, but you never know. Especially in my current condition. Not the pregnancy, the other thing. It would look good for the documentary I guess, but since it wasn't caused on the job but by my own stupidity, I'd feel really crappy about it. Especially since I know I always check everything and make sure everything is perfect before I send my crew out there.

Private
I've begun looking at new wheelchairs. I hope it doesn't come to it, but it's better to be safe than sorry, and if things don't change, the joystick isn't gonna cut it anymore. I turned on those damned baby shows to cover for my crying at things starting to sink in. I really hope I get better. Not just for my sake, but for Viv and Donna's. They deserve a partner and a mother who can do more than just move her head.

For the first time in a LONG time I'm really and truly terrified, and it's not from jumping off a building or anything, but from wondering if I'll be able to hold my little girl on my own.

It's sad that I actually look forward to going to the doctor just so I have new scenery to look forward to, isn't it? But yay, no more casts! Doctor said my arm and leg are healing well, and it's not like I'm going to be overusing them anytime soon, so the casts are off. My arm and leg are fish-belly white, though. I'm thinking a trip to the beach once the baby is born is definitely in order, because I am in serious need of some sun. They weren't as thrilled with my progress from the neck injury though. I am terrified that I will not be able to hold this baby when she's born.

I've heard rumors of parties? Yes? A baby shower perhaps? A wrap party? Brangelina getting engaged? I need gossip people! Need it! Also, come visit me. My nurses are nice and Viv is awesome of course, but it's been too damn long since I've seen some of you!

This cold weather can suck my non-existent left nut. As much as I'm glad I came here, because I wouldn't have my fabulous wife if I didn't, sometimes I really miss LA. Especially in the winter.

Poor Viv. I've been no fun lately. The house is just so warm though!

Isis keeps looking at my lap like she's asking "Where'd it go?" I have a feeling she's going to be a very jealous kitty once the baby comes. I also have cankles now and my feet laugh at any attempt to wear shoes. Sometimes I tell baby "THE THINGS I GO THROUGH FOR YOU!"

I'm going to forget all this once the baby's here, right? RIGHT?

Halfway there! I'm 20 weeks in and so far so good! Baby girl is doing great and getting pretty mobile down there. Sucks I can't feel her unless I'm actually touching her, but now and then I see little signs of movement. On the plus side, I don't have to feel the leg cramps or other fun stuff down there, although I'm rapidly growing cankles and feet the size of baking potatos. And my belly button is now an outtie. Which is weird.

But for now it's back to work time, as long as I can. I'm sure the producers love that their stunt coordinator is now not only disabled but preggers as well, but it's not like I'm actually doing any of the fun stuff... *grumble grumble*

[Private to Viv and Brian]
I'd really like all three of us to get together this week. I'll cook if I'm up to it, or at the very least order Chinese or Indian or something.
[/Private]

Well, Viv and I went to the doctor today. Baby's fine, I'm fat, but most importantly...



We are having a girl! I'm so excited! Exclamation points! Loud noises!

Now to think of a name...

I've been talking to Bǎobèi a lot. Supposedly babies can hear voices at this point, although I'm sure it sounds kinda freaky to them, like when you're down in a cannon waiting to get launched and someone's yelling down at them.

What, I'm the only person who's done that?

Anyways, the doctor says we're still doing good. Bǎobèi is growing fine, and while I'm still fat, I'm more or less healthy. Aside from having problems with my hands and my back hurting a lot and my feet starting to swell to the size of plump baked potatoes. Apparently mobility issues can happen to people with injuries like mine when they get pregnant. So, that's fun. On the plus side, we should be able to find out whether Bǎobèi has indoor or outdoor plumbing around New Years! Then we can start registering and picking out names and stuff!

I can't wait for the holidays, though. Having nearly a whole month's hiatus with Viv is going to be amazeballs. We'll be celebrating a big mish-mash of holidays this year- Hanukkah, Christmas, and... whatever Chinese holiday falls around this time of year. (Sorry sweetie, I'm blanking! Blame prego brain!) And New Years! Fireworks! Explodies!

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

( Text message to Brian )

I sent mom and Chuck the picture of the baby today. I know it's really stupid of me to keep trying with them, but I can't help myself. Bleh. But I just really want them to be happy about me and Viv and the baby. Hopefully my sister will spy for me and let me know what they say about it.

It's baby's first picture!

( Guess whose debut is behind the cut! )

Ugh. Stupid cold weather. Between baby tiredness and the cold, I feel like I can barely move. Fingers and hands have pretty much given up on me. I haven't even gotten out of bed today. Too much of a pain in the ass.

Something tells me I'm really going to hate this winter, if it's this cold already in mid-November.

[Private to Viv]

( Lookit )

(OOC note: pic below cut may be slightly NSFW. Fully clothed, but focusing on a specific part of the body)

I'm out of pickles and olives. So I'm cooking enchiladas while I have a burst of energy.

I'm sure you all wanted to know that.

Okay, now that the rumor's out and I've released a statement, here's the sitch.

Yes, I'm pregnant. And Brian is the father. And Viv is the other mother. I'm due at the end of May.

Most of you know how it happened, so there's no need to dig that up again.

But we're keeping the baby, and I plan to keep working as long as the doctors will let me. And as soon as they clear me, I'll be right back at work. So no slacking off, crash test dummies!

But I'm fine, we're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

[Private to Brian and Viv]

Well, fuck. Looks like the cat's out of the bag. Guess who made TMZ today?

Tomorrow is going to be an awesome day. I get to throw someone out a window. Well, not me personally. But I'm in charge of the defenestration at least. Road trip to Madison! I have a feeling that's not even close to as exciting as it sounds.

I'm just glad to be getting out and working. We've been sadly light on really good stunts lately, once we stopped having to kill off characters. I'm keeping busy working on other projects, but it'll be so nice to NOT be home. I just hope it doesn't wear me out too much. I can't imagine how things are gonna be when we start getting close to baby time.

Early call for my crew types tomorrow! The vans are leaving at 7, so don't be late, or you're paying for your own gas.

I have found the perfect costume. I don't want to spill the beans just yet, but I need someone in sets and/or costumes to contact me STAT.

( Private to Viv and Brian )

( Text message from Andi Clarke )

( message from Wheelie McBoomBoom )